A Celebration of Cyndy's Life!

When we asked her what she wanted for a memorial, Cyn said- "A big party, a CELEBRATION of my life- no crying.  A big spread in the Big House (Teresa's) where everyone can come and share memories and EAT".

So a Celebration it is- to be held on Saturday, November 6th at Teresa O'Kane's home starting at 1pm.  The address is 977 Asbury Street, San Jose, California 95126.  We'll have food and drink,  photos to share and some music too.  However if there is a dish you'd like to share (maybe it was a favorite of Cyndy's?) then please bring it too....as my sister would say "the more the merrier!".

We thank you so much for the cards, emails, flowers and kind memories you've shared along the way. Please make every effort to join us in the celebration of Cyn's life on the 6th.  We're looking forward to sharing memories with you!

My other Bro-In-Law made this in back January after Cyn's birthday... enjoy and reminisce.

Heaven welcomes another Angel...

My sister Cynthia Filarca left us this morning, Saturday October 23, 2010 at 5:07am.  She was surrounded by my two sisters, Josie and Eloise and her husband Joe.  Her passing was peaceful.

For most of the past two weeks she had been resting, as well as enjoying an occasional reading of various get well cards and most special, a recording of a Daniel Day Lewis interview on NPR.   My sister really liked Daniel Day Lewis' voice, so when her brother in law Sean brought the cd recording over she listened to it more than once.

A week ago or so, we talked a little bit about what she expected.  I asked her if she was afraid or nervous and she said no she felt pretty ready.  She reassured me that she would be okay and she wasn't afraid.  I reassured her that we would be okay, and that Clare and Joe would both always be looked after.

I last saw my sister Thursday afternoon as I took my leave for the weekend.  I told her, I'll see you Saturday... I love you Cin Cin.  She said " I love you, thanks".

My sister, although having a million friends and acquaintances- requested that her funeral mass be small and private with just family.  She really disliked it when we cried around her these last few weeks, so its likely she really didn't want to see her friends around crying as well.  She asked that you all please come to her celebration of life memorial which will likely be in 2 weeks.  I'll post details here as we firm up the details.

Thank you for your love and support these past few months.  My sister knew you were all sending good wishes and sharing memories, and she definitely felt the love that you all sent our way.  Thank you so much for that...

gratefully,
Julie Ann (aka "Ann Ann")

Resting comfortably, reading emails, enjoying company.

Thank you all for your messages of support to Cyndy via email to her.  Right now we are focused on keeping her comfortable and  sharing memories and reading stories to her.  Her daughter has been here keeping her company, reading and helping us care for Cyn as much as possible.

Cyn is not in much pain and the pain she does get is being held at bay with medication every 6 to 12 hours and she continues to receive nutrition through the famous feeding tube.

She sleeps most of the day, her eyes opening a bit when someone comes into the room or a smile when we crack a joke.  This afternoon she asked Teresa to now please limit visitors to family only because it is too exhausting to receive anyone else, so with this blog post I am letting you all know.

She continues to try to catch up on reading email daily and enjoys photos so please don't stop communicating to her although she likely will not answer.  Do know that just about every day she goes through and reads every single one.  A friend recently sent pictures from New York of Central Park and the celebration of John Lennon's birthday.  While she was sad to see photos of her friend and her friends husband and the crowd in Central Park, she still smiled and looked intently at each one as if to burn everything into her memory.   She absolutely loves you all and the memories that she carries of you and your time together.

It is with a very heavy heart that I update this blog.

Yesterday morning we met with Cyn’s oncologist Dr. Thomas Chen who had reviewed her CT Scan from Monday. Unfortunately, the cancer has spread very quickly and although the mass in her chest that they treated aggressively with chemo and radiation has reduced in size, she now has cancer cells spreading quickly throughout her body.

One option was to continue chemo and hope that it would help without any guarantees.  Since it has spread so rapidly, he did not think that they could really reduce the cancer enough to prolong her life in a way where she would have  a good quality of life as well. The other choice was to not do chemo or radiation and let the cancer run its course.  My sister told us that when she initially was diagnosed, she knew it would not be a good outcome regardless of the treatment so that she has already made her peace with the situation.  She was just waiting to hear her status for sure.

My sister has chosen to forego more chemo, and to enjoy the rest of the time she has with all of her family and especially her daughter and husband.  They will meet with hospice on Sunday to figure out what’s next and what we all need to do to get through this painlessly, comfortably and peacefully.

I will continue to go down to San Jose on Monday nights and stay a few nights to help Joe with her care, for as long as I can.  I will continue to update you on her journey as I am able to and if I can get her to dictate while I type I think it would be a good thing too.  We'll see what she's up for.

If you'd like to communicate with her, best thing is to send her an email at cfilarca@yahoo.com.  She makes an effort to read her email at least once a day.  She also enjoys looking at your photos so send those as well.  (Many of you know she loves San Francisco so any pics of those famous spots she will enjoy as well.)

It's difficult for her to receive visitors often because she is just too tired to interact, but do know that she appreciates all of your friendships and concerns and especially your prayers as does Joe. 

Thank you so much for your support and your love for Cyn.